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| Wednesday, November 4, 2009 |
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I hv been tinking, been tinking alot td. Regarding my cca issue of coz. Wad is it tt i wan? When i woke up td. I looked out the window. Then it occurred to mi. It seems so. My situation, is lik im a caged bird. The door wun be open fer long, hu noes exactly when it will be shut tight n nv be ever opened again. Limited time, a rare limited chance. Bt wad izzit tt I myself wan? Yet i hesitated to get out, bcoz im nt like those other birds hu had been in the sky before, i nv was thr before. So do i realli wan the sky? Fer all i noe, i may had forgotten hw to fly. Fer all i noe, idk hw to fly. Fer all i noe, i nv belonged thr. Fer all i noe, the min i get out of tis cage i wud juz drop dead n die. Yea, i dun know if its onli the spur of the moment. It, isnt as easy out thr in the sky as it is in the cage. So wad do i wan? Do i realli wan the sky after all of tis entire life of mine in the cage? I wonder... I noe im nt a resilient person, a rather weak person, nt as strong as i tot im--i noe. But so in the end, wad do i wan? Im nt a bird duh, lik hw dey belong to the sky. So i belong to no-whr, den nw wad izzit tt i wan.
I enjoyed the slacking-aways in this comfort zone of mine, n i believe as long as i'd get gd grades i can survive. But tis zone isnt comfortable anymore wif seniors n tchers hating mi after my skippings n all. And i skipped, mainly bcoz i din enjoy it. So ending up im coming to tis. I dun even noe if i can stay, bt neither do i noe if i shud go. WAD AM I TO DO. Am i willing to get out of tis zone n risked the high chances of dropping dead n die in the instant i stepped out. Bt risking the high chances of dropping dead n die, is it realli tt i like it? Or is it juz bcoz i gt influenced by ppl, or is it tt its all juz an impulse of the moment...? Idk idk, i dun know anything anymore, i dun know wad do i even know anymore. I juz dun wan to regret anymore than i already did. I juz hv been tinking, juz been tinking alot....... what am i to do?????????????? |
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| [Hong] ♥ 明知没有答案还是要问 | 10:01 PM |
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